When Lori Gottlieb found herself forty and still single, she came to an uncomfortable realization. If so many of her friends were very happily married to "good enough" guys, the type of men who might not make you weak in the knees but made great partners and fathers, maybe she had been approaching her dating life completely wrong. If she hadn't found Mr. Right, maybe she'd been focused on the wrong things. Could her Mr. Right have been, well, right in front of her all along?
In the March 2008 issue of "The Atlantic," she asked, "Would you rather hold out for Prince Charming and risk that he'll never show up, or be more realistic and share your life with a guy who'll make a good teammate in the trenches of family life?" Lori Gottlieb argued for the latter. The furor that erupted was immediate, with coverage in media outlets as varied as "Today," NPR, and "The Wall Street Journal." Some accused her of setting feminism back decades; others spoke warmly of marriages in which love grew slowly over time. Men complained that women were too picky; women believed they were entitled to be picky. Clearly, she had touched a nerve.
The most common response came from women who said that they couldn't seem to meet the right guy, and just weren't feeling "it" with the nice guys they'd met. How important was "it"? How, they wondered, do you separate compromising from settling? In "Marry Him," Lori decides to find out. Along the way, she talks to marital researchers, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, matchmakers, dating coaches, and clergy about the realities of the modern dating landscape. The result is an eye-opening, brutally honest, often funny, sometimes painful journey that culminates in a redefining of romance.